When You Stop Carrying What’s Not Yours, the Pain Begins to Leave

By Carrie Polk

There’s a kind of woman I see often in my practice — strong, dependable, loving, and worn out. She’s the one who makes sure everyone else is okay, even when she’s barely holding on herself. She carries the house, the schedule, the emotions, the memories, the guilt… all of it.

And then one day, her body whispers:“I can’t carry this anymore.”

That whisper becomes an ache that doesn’t go away. A fatigue that feels like it sits in her bones. A body that no longer bounces back.

For many, that whisper has a name — fibromyalgia.

The Hidden Weight of Carrying Too Much

Fibromyalgia is often described as mysterious pain. But I’ve learned in my practice that behind the mystery is usually a unique story — a story of overgiving, overdoing, and overholding.

Fibromyalgia isn’t just tight muscles or poor sleep. It’s a body that’s been in protection mode for too long. It’s the tension that comes from years of stress, grief, or trauma — stored deep in the tissues, asking to be acknowledged and released.

The body keeps score of what the heart never got to say. And when we finally begin to let go — to stop carrying what was never ours — the pain begins to ease.

Healing isn’t about fighting your body.It’s about learning to listen to it again.

Maria’s Story

Maria came to me exhausted. Every morning she woke up stiff, sore, and overwhelmed. She said, “I feel like I’m fighting myself every day.” We didn’t start with a long list of rules or a complicated plan. We started with softening — with giving her body and soul permission to rest. We added a magnesium-rich evening tea to relax her muscles. She started journaling what she was ready to release — one line a night. She began adding more color to her plate — bright green broccoli, leafy greens, and raw red coleslaw with a simple dressing of just flax oil and Braggs amino acids.

At first, she didn’t think it would help. But slowly, the flares lessened. Her energy returned. And one day she smiled and said, “I feel light again.”

That’s when I knew: Healing begins where striving ends.

15 Gentle Things You Can Do to Begin Healing

Here are fifteen things that have helped women like Maria find peace, reduce pain, and reclaim their energy — naturally, gently, and without guilt.

Nourish the Body

1. Eat for calm, not control. Choose anti-inflammatory foods like cauliflower, greens, and flax oil — and stop punishing yourself with perfection.

2. Add magnesium-rich foods such as pumpkin seeds, spinach, or swiss chard to relax muscles and ease sleep.

3. Hydrate with minerals. Add a pinch of sea salt or trace minerals to water to support cell repair.

4. Include plant protein in every meal. It balances blood sugar and reduces fatigue.

5. Avoid inflammatory triggers — processed foods, dairy products, red meat, refined sugar, and excess caffeine can fuel flare-ups.

   
   

Soothe the Nervous System

6. Begin each morning with five deep breaths before you reach for your phone or to-do list.

7. Take one thing off your plate each day. Your worth isn’t measured by how much you carry.

8. Write a daily release note. “Today, I let go of…” — and fill in the blank.

9. Practice gentle movement. Stretch, walk, or sway to music — no forcing, no pressure.

10. Create bedtime peace. Magnesium and chamomile tea, dim lights, no screens 1 hour before bed, and a few slow breaths inhaling I love you body and Exhaling Body you server me well today~ tell your body it’s safe to rest.

Heal the Heart and Spirit

11. Speak kindly to yourself. Notice the tone you use inside your attitude(Keep it positive)— it shapes how your body feels outside.

12. Set quiet boundaries. Learn to say “no” as a way of saying “yes” to your health.

13. Keep a gratitude list — but not just for big things. Thank your body for the small victories: walking, breathing, 4 hours of continuous sleep, and trying again.

14. Spend time in nature. Every 10 minutes outdoors can lower cortisol and can ground your soul with gratitude.

15. Pray or meditate over your body. Ask your Creator to help you release what isn’t yours to carry anymore.

You Don’t Have to Earn Rest

Somewhere along the way, we were taught that rest must be earned — that slowing down is weakness. But the truth is, rest is the reset button for the body and the spirit. Its the time to heal and rebuild.

Fibromyalgia doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body has been protecting you too long — and it’s time to let it know it’s safe again.

So take the nap. Eat the nourishing meals. Breathe the deep breath. Say the gentle “no.” And remember:

Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is stop carrying what was never yours.